The legislators cannot endure the normal. They hate reality. They are quite mad....

Hatred of Nature: Hatred of Sex

by Anthony Esolen

The state legislature of California has passed a bill to protect self-identification in matters of class and race. If a child in a public school identifies himself as the Prince of Pasadena, and dresses and behaves accordingly, then he must be addressed as such by the teachers and his fellow students. Special care is to be taken in the use of deferent pronouns:

“Might your Lordship be pleased to read the paragraph beginning on page five?”

“Jenny, take this box of crayons to his Lordship.”

“Their Lordships will not eat pate de foie gras without Camembert and mineral water. Kindly see to it.”

Since class really is a social construct, the state solons wish to encourage its deconstruction, so that any person may adopt the social role that he feels will fulfill his desires. Some people may self-identify as peasants, or indentured servants, or merchants. The thing to remember is that there is a difference between peasantry as a mere political fact, and self-made peasantry. No one should be compelled to occupy any class because of economic or political happenstance. Freedom of choice is all.

Or not quite all. For the legislators warn all people engaged in business that they too must comply with the self-identification of their customers. If a Queen of San Quentin (there may be several Queens of San Quentin; queenship, again, is no mere political office, but is the crafting of a royal identity) visits a baker’s shop and orders a cake, reading, “Congratulations on Your Coronation,” the baker must comply, or be sued for lese majeste. If a woman identifies as a slave and finds a master, and if she wishes to memorialize the happy occasion by ordering photographs portraying her in fetters and manacles, or tossing a spiked collar over her shoulder to be caught by an expectant slavesmaid, then that photographer had damned well better go along with it and do his job, or be fined so heavily as to put his business in jeopardy.

The legislators stipulate that no differences may be drawn between an actually existent class and a class contrived by the imagination, or between present and past. Someone may insist that he is Napoleon reincarnate, and strut about with the tricorner hat, muttering, “It was that subtle Talleyrand! It was that beef-eating Wellington!” He is to be addressed as Emperor or First Citizen. Another man may brandish a Jedi light sabre bought at the local dollar store; he is to be addressed as Sir Knight.

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