Absence manifests the importance of presence. But what really teaches the importance of presence is the actual experience of it.

Contemporary Challenges to Family Unity

by John A. Cuddeback

Absence often manifests the importance of presence. I think of my one year old son Raphael. When my wife is not at home, he looks at me and utters a plaintive interrogative, “Mama?” “Mama will be home soon,” I respond, hoping the tone and feeling behind my words will convey a comfort their meaning cannot. For Raphael my wife’s return is an occasion of great joy, and for me of great relief. At times I have wondered what I would say to Raphael if for some reason she actually did not come home.

I will never forget the time I tried to explain the reality of heaven to my young son Nicholas. “You will be with God forever and ever.” That didn’t have much purchase with him. Undaunted, I proceeded, “You will be with all the saints and angels, and all your desires will be fulfilled.” This too did not have much effect. Now Nicholas was at the age where what a child says is pure: no posturing, just straight from the heart. “Gosh,” he said. “All I know is: if you and Mama are there, I’ll be happy.”

I had set out to teach him something. But his words changed my understanding of family life. Even if not theologically precise, his response captures a fundamental truth. Human life is all about presence. Real, personal, presence. And the fundamental place of presence is the home. At the end of the day what else is a home but the place where we can live in the presence of those to whom we are closest?

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