We should help young adults achieve their goals of stable marriage and family life, not try to make birth control "sexy

If Knot Now, When? 

The Impact of Delayed Marriage

 Among Twenty-somethings

by Meg McDonnell

Meg McDonnell argues that we should help young adults achieve their goals of stable marriage and family life, not try to make birth control "sexy."

Young adults desire stable marriage and family life even while they engage in unmarried sex and parenting. We should encourage and help young adults achieve these goals instead of trying to make birth control "sexy."

Michelle was 22 when she found herself pregnant. She was in a committed relationship with all signs pointing to marriage, she says, but since she had just completed college, with ambitious career plans for her future, children weren't on the horizon yet.
"Although I did want a baby with my now-husband (even at the young age of 22), I was devastated because I felt like my life was ruined," she writes in a blog post. "Everything I wanted to accomplish--everything I wanted to be--was now gone. And I didn't get this from my own head--I got it from friends, family, TV, movies, and complete strangers."
Most young adults are putting off starting a family in their twenties, she notes, and the cultural expectations surrounding delayed marriage aided in the initial devastation that surrounded Michelle's pregnancy.
"My body felt ready, but my brain didn't," she elaborates. And though she went on to marry the father of her child and raise their now four-year-old son, her decision was not made without a lot of anxiety and despair.
"I do wish that someone would have told me that my life wouldn't be ruined. That I could go on to have a successful career, a happy marriage, and a fulfilling life," she lamented. "I wish someone had told me that choosing earlier-than-expected pregnancy isn't a tragedy, but just a different lifestyle decision. I wish someone would have told me that a 22-year-old mother can be the best kind of mother."

Michelle's story of her unplanned and unmarried twenty-something pregnancy is not that uncommon, though her success in achieving a happy balance between marriage, family, and career may be.

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