A thoughtful and creative effort to foster a culture of marriage is desperately needed.

A Response to the Cohabitation Epidemic

By Arland K. Nichols

The proliferation of research and literature about the sexual and marital habits of “Millennials” is staggering. Research indicates a casual or cavalier approach to sexual intimacy and of marriage. Marriage is increasingly postponed or rejected in favor of transitional “trial marriages” or temporary live-in situations glamorized today in popular media as “the next step” in intimate relationships.

The intimate relationship choices of young adults today expose a culture that increasingly fails to appreciate moral norms and the inherent value and beauty of marriage. The rapid acceptance of cohabitation and the dissolution of a culture of marriage in the wake of the sexual revolution pose a significant challenge to the Catholic Church in the United States. A thoughtful and creative effort to foster a culture of marriage is desperately needed.

Couples today cohabit for numerous reasons: more time together, financial concerns, and fear of the commitment of marriage or fear of divorce. Others slip into it out of convenience, some want to test their compatibility, while still others are actively rebelling against their parents or ethical upbringing. All told, it is believed that between 50-70 percent of couples today are cohabiting before marriage. Catholics reflect national trends in spite of the Church’s consistent teaching that cohabitation and premature sexual relations are a “grave sin” and “contrary to the moral law” (CCC 2390).

Sadly, couples who choose cohabitation choose a risky route that will lead to more heartbreak rather than fulfillment of the deepest longings of the heart. As Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker note in their recent book, Premarital Sex in America, “Cohabitation is still about uncertainty and risk management for both men and women. It’s holding back to see how things go … cohabitation is inherently unstable.”

The CDC has noted that only 40 percent of first-time cohabiters are married within three years. Nearly 20 percent of women will become pregnant in the first year of cohabiting. Only 26 percent of women who become pregnant while cohabiting will get married within the year. The “decrease in the probability of marriage among women who [become] pregnant in a cohabiting union” expose mother and child to a host of well-known negative outcomes. In short, cohabitation increases the likelihood of numerous negative outcomes for women while essentially granting to men all the “benefits” of marriage without men having any responsibilities. Regnerus and Uecker concur, noting that “Cohabitation is a win-win situation for men: more stable access to sex, without the expectations or commitments of marital responsibilities.”



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