How to Make a Good Confession: "don’t let the devil or yourself rob you of the powerful gift of confession."

The Right Confessor Is a Spiritual Blessing

by Marge Fenelon 

By means of the sacrament of holy orders, Catholic priests have the faculties to hear confessions and grant reconciliation. When a priest hears confessions — or confers any sacrament, for that matter — he is acting as Christ’s representative. The Church refers to this as acting in persona Christi, or in the person of Christ (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1548).

All priests should desire to carry out a holy ministry and to confer the sacraments in a way that leads others to Christ. However, sometimes the mix of personalities in the confessional makes it difficult for the one confessing to feel comfortable with the one hearing the confession and vice versa.

In that light, there are some basic rules of thumb that can help you to find the confessor who’s right for you.


"Be sure that your confessor honors Church teaching," said Dan Burke, executive director of the Register and founder of the Avila Institute. "It’s important that he understands that he’s there to help you to be reconciled with the Church and enter into a deeper union with God. He needs to point you in the right direction so that you can honor God with your life."

Second, Burke said, find a priest who truly listens to you.

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Dos and Don’ts of Finding a Confessor

• Be objective. Choose a priest who can help you grow spiritually, not one who simply makes you feel good (or bad) about yourself.
• Avoid priests who seem to downplay your sins or dull Church teaching.
• Remember the three goals of the spiritual life: grace, union with God and forming your conscience.
• Do all that you can to help the priest serve you.
• Remember that priests are human, too, and prone to weakness, just as you are.
• Choose a priest who follows the proper formula for the sacrament: hearing your confession, giving penance, requiring an Act of Contrition and giving absolution.
• Pray, and ask God to guide you to the right confessor.
• Be open and honest, with yourself and the priest.
• Make a preliminary appointment so that you can get to know each other.
• Pray for your confessor before you go to confession.
• Always put your need for the sacrament before your preference of confessor.

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